As everyone knows, I don't speak much in class. Or outside of class. I just don't say that much, ever. I'm just too afraid to say anything stupid in front of other people. I know i shouldn't be worried, but I am. I just don't want to be seen as that one guy who said that one thing. It doesn't have to be about what we say, it could also be what we look like.
Why do we, as a culture, worry so much about our perception to other people?
Ah, insecurity, the bitter side of everyone's personality. You might look at everyone else and wonder, "why do they say things like that?". I'm quite shy but love to talk to groups in discussions; it took me a while just to get to that level. You could be whoever you want to be. We won't judge you, and your opinion matters just as much as everyone else's.
ReplyDeleteHow else are we to judge ourselves other than other people? This is a conundrum of antiquity. We must look beyond the outside world and focus on our own ethics and beliefs.
This is obviously my own view, but I tend to worry about what other people think of me, too. However, the only way you tend to get confidence is by yourself. Speaking, to me, is about taking into consideration of other people - which is probably why i view myself as likable, and most others do too. You won't be "that guy" when you keep in mind the other people whom you are speaking to. There are things that could offend them, then you just avoid it until you get to know them as a person. Everyone loves intamacy with others - they like to connect. Chris, you arbitrarily have friends, just as everyone does. you DO talk to these people, whether you notice or not. The insecurity you feel towards them is minimal versus the insecurity you feel at school.
ReplyDeletei think the reason we as a culture are worried about our perception is because a lot of times things are based on who you know, not who you are as a person. And the more people that like you, the more they will get you into things in life. The cliques of high school and middle school, as well as certain types of bullying are what push people into shells of their own comfort. Many people judge hardcore on what others do - but most times, it has to do with how "different" you are, or how callous you're being about a particular group of people. Difference, though, doesn't matter so much when you find a group of people that love your weirdness (trust me, i tend to hide my weirdness from some groups of people so as to allow them to feel more comfortable around me. With my own close group of friends i am far less restrictive.
I think if you speak up, you will find people are generally nicer than you think they are. You also have to be a risk taker, and trust inthe people around you.
Chris I can so teach you not to give fs. And, Cody we will judge you, but that doesn't mean it will be negative. Chris, when you talk it is 90ish% of the time pretty intelligent stuff, the other times it is generally pretty funny stuff. Also, the bullying thing, when people bully others they may point out things that might be considered short-comings in our culture but they might be considered great aspects in others, not to mention they forget to mention all the good things that they would notice if they took the time to not be a troll and get to know people. And, a great example of when you say intelligent things is your blog, you may not post a lot but when you do people talk a lot on it. And, you know that saying that 'God' gave us two ears and one mouth because we are supposed to listen twice as much as we talk, you got the 'swag' going. And, who cares what others think I know you are pretty swell b-ro. And, tutorials in AVID are more example of when you say smart stuff. Also, culture is stupid, so don't worry about being judged based on intelligence based on a flawed system that exists to make life more convenient, which is not necessarily pragmatic, although it does have pragmatic implications, anyway, everything has a flaw, and everyone says stupid stuff, but if everyone focused on that we would be so screwed.
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